One of the tricky bits about being a kind, thinking, feeling, caring human being is that life is hard. Life is full of pain and suffering and people who are doing nasty, horrible, selfish things you can’t possibly imagine a kind, thinking, feeling, caring human being ever getting up to.

But they do.

Whether it’s being insensitive to waitstaff, cutting you off in traffic, not giving you credit for a great idea at work, or taking away basic human rights in a craven grab for power, watching this kind of behavior - and feeling powerless in the face of it - is one of the most challenging experiences a person can face.

What meaningful thing can you possibly do in the face of seriously anti-social shenanigans? What do you do with all the riled-up feelings and thoughts which can totally derail your day? What do you do with all the anger and the fear?

How do you restore your groove?

What meaningful thing can you possibly do in the face of seriously anti-social shenanigans?

Well, along with donating money, marching through the streets, and judicious applications of helpful cannabinoids, you can meditate.

But I’m not talking just any old focus on your breath or gaze at a candle practice. I’m talking about the amazing ninja skill of Loving Kindness Meditation - a practice brought to the West and made particularly famous by the luminous teacher Sharon Salzberg.

You start, as in most meditative practices, by taking a comfortable seat.

Then, you think about yourself with kindness and compassion. And, in your mind, you repeat this phrase:

May I be filled with loving kindness. May I be well. May I be peaceful and at ease. May I be happy.

Repeat it several times. Repeat it a bunch. Fill your heart with a genuine desire for yourself to be filled with loving kindness, to be well, to be peaceful and at ease, to be happy.

Some people actively resist wishing that degree of goodness for themselves, but give it a shot. Wrestle with it if you have to. After all, don’t you deserve it?

If, say, Vladimir Putin were filled with loving kindness, not only would he quit doing all the horrible things he’s doing, he would probably also be filled with an INTENSE degree of remorse and guilt - which would be very, very satisfying.

Then, consider someone it’s easy for you to feel positive about. It could be a teacher, a best friend, a partner, a puppy, someone you admire from a distance. Fill your heart with hope for their well being, and in your mind, repeat:

May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.

This should feel pretty good. Keep going for a couple of minutes.

The third step is picking someone you’re pretty neutral about. It could be someone you see all the time, but don’t actually know very well: a clerk at a local store or someone who works at the post office. It could be the person who washed your car or someone you noticed sitting across from you on the subway.

Again, fill your heart with hope for their well being, and in your mind, repeat:

May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.

The value of this step is that it turns a fairly anonymous person into someone you care about. It builds community in your soul.

Now comes the ninja bit. Pick someone you genuinely have a hard time with: a troublesome co-worker, someone who just broke up with you, a politician working to overturn significant human rights legislation…

Remember, you’re not wishing them harm, you’re wishing them consciousness.

Yup, you guessed it. You’re going to repeat the meditation for them as well:

May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.

While you might have a seriously hard time extending such beneficence to yourantagonists, think of the loving kindness meditation as the best curse you could ever wish upon someone.

Think about it. If, say, Vladimir Putin were filled with loving kindness, not only would he quit doing all the horrible things he’s doing, he would probably also be filled with an INTENSE degree of remorse and guilt - which would be very, very satisfying.

While I realize that attitude isn’t entirely within the spirit of this meditation, I find wishing a feeling of overwhelming personal responsibility upon the people who upset me helps elevate my mood.

Remember, you’re not wishing them harm, you’re wishing them consciousness. You’re wishing them psycho-spiritual evolution. If it also happens to come with a measure of conscience-pricking and deep regret, I’m ok with that.

Photos by Omid Armin and Miguel Bruna on Unsplash